One of the simplest and most important steps you can take when a marriage is ending — and one of the most commonly overlooked.
Shannon Norman – August 2026
When a marriage begins to unravel, most people think immediately about attorneys, finances, and living arrangements. Very few think about their inbox. But in the early days of a divorce — before attorneys are formally engaged, before anyone has filed anything — your email account may be one of the most vulnerable points in your entire case. Setting up a private, secure email address that your spouse cannot access is not a dramatic or adversarial move. It is a basic, practical act of self-protection that every person considering divorce should take.
The Problem With Shared or Familiar Accounts
Many couples share far more digital access than they realize. A spouse may know the password to your primary email. They may have set up your account on a shared device. Auto-fill may have saved your login credentials on a family computer. In some cases, both spouses use a single family email account or one that is linked to a shared phone plan where messages can be viewed by the account holder.
Even if none of these apply, a spouse who suspects the marriage is ending may look for access they do not normally use. A monitored inbox gives a spouse — and potentially their attorney — visibility into your communications with your own lawyer, your financial advisor, your friends and family, and anyone else you are confiding in during one of the most sensitive periods of your life.
What a Private Email Protects
Attorney-client communications are privileged — but only if they stay private. A spouse who can read your inbox can read your legal strategy.
The most critical function of a private email is protecting communications with your attorney. Attorney-client privilege is one of the most important protections in our legal system, but it depends on confidentiality. If your spouse can access your email — through a known password, a shared device, or a linked account — that privilege can be compromised in practical terms, even if it remains intact legally. Your attorney’s advice, your questions, documents exchanged in preparation for your case: all of it should flow through an account only you can reach.
Beyond legal communications, a private account also gives you a safe channel for conversations with financial advisors, therapists, support networks, and anyone else you are leaning on. Divorce involves disclosures that are deeply personal. Those conversations deserve protection not because they are secret in any harmful sense, but because they are yours.
Creating a private email account takes less than ten minutes and costs nothing. Gmail, ProtonMail, and Outlook all provide free email accounts that are easy to set up and use. Be sure not to use any password that your spouse might know or guess.
Other Digital Privacy Steps Worth Taking
A private email is the starting point, not the whole picture. While you are thinking about digital security, consider reviewing these areas as well. Change passwords on any accounts that contain sensitive financial or personal information — banking portals, investment accounts, cloud storage — particularly if your spouse knows or might guess your current credentials. Review the privacy settings on shared family accounts like Amazon, Apple ID family sharing, or Google Family, which can expose purchases, locations, and browsing. If location sharing is enabled on your phone through a family plan or an app like Find My Friends, be aware that your movements may be visible. None of these steps require concealment or deception — they are simply the appropriate management of your own private information at a time when privacy matters.
Legal Disclaimer: This article is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Laws regarding digital privacy and spousal access to communications vary by jurisdiction. Consult a licensed family law attorney for guidance specific to your situation.